Emotional and Behavioral Disorders :: You’re Not Alone, Mom

I’ve taught Special Education for 9 years now, focusing almost entirely on working with students with emotional and behavioral disorders (EBDs.) Generally- and very simply- speaking, an emotional/behavioral disorder is a chronic pattern of inappropriate feelings or actions under normal circumstances. For the sake of this post, I’m going to focus on EBDs that manifest through aggressive behaviors.

Emotional and Behavioral disorders don’t gain a lot of attention. These students somehow fall under the umbrella of Special Education, yet just right out of it’s reach. This population presents a unique need, and there isn’t a lot of sympathy, or even empathy in the world of EBDs. The days are often long, sometimes unsettling, and, honestly, not often rewarding.  And when I first began, it seemed like everyone else confidently knew the answer or was sure they had the “fix”- everyone seemed to have an opinion. And among the many things I’ve heard in my role as a Special Ed teacher, from advice to criticism, there’s one phrase that makes me want to pull my hair out:

“It’s the parents’ fault.”

The parents’ fault. The people who don’t have a choice but to endure and try to understand and “fix” disabilities that only seem to manifest themselves through dramatic mood swings, irrationality, and sometimes violence. The parent. The mothers. The fathers. The people who are people trying to figure out what’s best for their children, just like the rest of us are. I once went to a conference, and the speaker there mentioned that parents of kids with emotional and behavioral disorders may be experiencing the most insidious kind of domestic violence: the only kind of domestic violence where we routinely blame the victims.

When I start discussing what I do with friends, I am often asked if I think it’s bad parenting or the parent’s fault, or even if these kids learned the behavior from their parents. In the beginning of my career, I had no idea how to answer whether parents were the chicken or the egg when it came to their child’s behavior. Are the kids this way because of or in spite of the parents? I think there’s a huge assumption that violent kids must experience violence at home. I’m not entirely sure what the research says on that, but what I do know is that there are kids that do witness violence in their home, and don’t engage in aggressive behaviors. Emotional and Behavioral disorders are organically occurring. I’m guessing there might be some environmental factors that exacerbate aggressive behaviors- as there are with non-aggressive traits- but I’m still maintaining that, no, it’s not the parents’ fault.

More at: http://indianapolis.citymomsblog.com/school/emotional-and-behavioral-disorders-youre-not-alone-mom/

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Symptoms of Child Behavior Disorders

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Justin Urbas - Clinical Child Psychologist

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Justin Urbas - 3 easy ways you should use to reduce anxiety and stress from your child

The symptoms of anxiety are observed commonly among children of all ages. However, these problems seem to be more serious when kids are their adolescence. As per the Child Psychiatrists, almost 10-12% of kids during their school going days suffer from anxiety disorder and in many cases, it affects their personality in future also. Thus, whenever you find that your kids are getting stressed, you should take steps immediately to comfort them. But, the task is challenging to many parents. Here, Justin Urbas, has suggested some tips, which you can follow while managing stress among children.

Teach kids to face the fears:

To reduce the level of anxiety, at first you have to teach them how to face the fear. Kids have a tendency to avoid the situations which make them feel uncomfortable. However, researchers say that the anxiety level of kids reduces naturally, if they start facing difficult situations. While making kids familiar with such stressful situations, make sure that you are not forcing them anyway. Otherwise, they will get more stressed.

Encourage positive thinking:

Often the kids, whose anxiety level is high, lose themselves in self-criticism and negative thinking. It, in turn, increases the stress level of kids. You can reduce it significantly by encouraging the positive thinking. Teach them how to build confidence. Along with it, also teach how to learn from mistakes. Often the parents focus on making kids succeed in every field. Obviously, being successful is important. But, your kids should know they everything cannot be perfect.

Have some relaxing activity everyday:

In modern hectic schedule, spending quality time with kids, is quite difficult for many parents. Several studies are indicating that such lifestyle also causes stress among little kids. To avoid this, Justin Urbas suggests to have some fun activities every day for kids

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Parenting strategies from Justin Urbas to handle kids with ADHD

The signs of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) among kids pose severe challenges to the parents. However, here Justin Urbas presented some parenting techniques, with which you can raise such kids properly. But, before that, know the common challenges that kids with ADHD mostly encounter.

Challenges faced by kids with ADHD:

The kids who have attention deficit issues, face the following problems-

➢Losing track of things they are doing
➢Having problems to complete home tasks
➢Difficulties to complete assigned tasks
➢Overreacting to failure

If the issues related to attention deficiency are not managed on time, these can grow more and more intense over time.

Parenting strategies suggested by Urbas:

The above stated issues can be handled if you use the tips mentioned below.

Staying calm: When you are controlling your kid with ADHD, make sure that your own emotion is under control. Once you start losing your temper, so the child will do. As a result, the entire communication will not give any positive outcome. The experts consider that any argument with the child just makes the situation worse. So, during the entire process, you have to keep patience.

Limit your own activities:

To get rid of the problems, you should put limit on your own activities. Generally the parents have tendency to assist kids in each and every task. However, you should remember that more you will assist the child, less he/she will learn to do. For example, during a homework session, you can ask kids whether they need any help from you, but never start doing the tasks they are given. If you want to keep an eye on them, sit beside and do your own work such as paying bills etc.

Finally, you should also ensure that the child is experiencing positive consequences for his/ her positive behavior. It will also help them to behave properly.

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3 strategies from Justin Urbas to raise a kid with bipolar disorder

Raising up a kid with bipolar disorder often becomes quite difficult for parents. However, studies indicate with the right parenting techniques , one can teach these kids how to move on in life. Below are five tips from Justin Urbas that can help you to manage mood swings of bipolar kids and securing a healthy life for them.

Be regular in activities: The bipolar kids feel depressed in some situations and also can become outrageous in other cases. Usually their mood switches from one condition to another, very frequently. As a result, disruptions in their regular activities is a quite common incident. While dealing with such kids, the first challenge parents face, is maintaining regularity in daily lives. You can ensure it with a firm routine for day to day activities. Initially, you may encounter lots of problems while doing so. But, once your kid gets habituated with the routine, you will surely notice the change in behavior.

Having a mood log: Keeping eye on the mood changing pattern of a child is an effective technique to remove difficulties. From the initial days, you should start keeping a log of mood swings for kid. It will help you to understand what triggers him/her. The log will also be effective to identify the potential risk factors.

Planning ahead: Before your child faces any difficult situation that can spoil the mood, at first you should try to avoid the situation. If it is not possible, start kids preparing in advance. If they have grown up and able to understand the problems, involve them to the planning process also. Moreover, you should try to develop problem solving kids among them. Teaching them to solve problems and manage conflicts in easy steps will be effective to bring change in behavior.

You should also try to keep the conflicts within family as minimum as possible. It, reducing stress among kids will enable them to overcome difficulties.

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Justin Urbas - Dealing With Child Psychological Problems

Deal with child psychology can be complicated. As we all know, psychology is the study of human brains. Child psychology is no different in nature. It deals with different aspects associated with a child’s thought process. The study primarily focuses on every minute details of a child’s reaction to daily life situation and how their emotional aspects responds per different situations. The responses would differ from one individual to another. Thus, the field is quite vast and inclusive. Professional help must be sorted out to examine your child’s behavioral traits.

According to Justin Urbas, the common factors that primarily can be held responsible for a child’s behavioral difference are career, gender, health, nationality, and age. When dealing with child psychology, the focus is primarily on behavior, emotions, and thought process of the kid.  Speaking about childhood depression process, the common expressions associated with the process are feeling of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness. To cope with such situations, it is necessary to consider sessions with child psychologist at the earliest. Outlooking the situation can be risky for your kid, since it may lead to suicidal thoughts and self-destruction.

Exact causes that lead to childhood depressive state of mind have not yet being identified. Justin Urbas suggests that psychological conditions in a child causes primarily due to environmental conditions, genetics, life events, family history, and physical health. It can also be due to other acts of depression like death in the family or difficulties among the family members and friends. In fact, the death of pet can also result in causing serious mental trauma.

If a child shows signs or depression or feel disturbed and prefers to remain isolated from the crowd, you must consult a proper child psychologist. If a child is a victim of bullying and substance abuse, seeking help of a child psychologist would be the best option to avail. Figuring out the root cause of such problems can be best done by professional psychologists. A lot of times kids fail to express their feelings before their parents. However, these same kids feel more comfortable when interacting with a psychologist. They can open before the professional to discuss about their difficult past or painful traumas they have undergone. The psychologist would keep a note of these points that would help in the treatment process.

A lot of people confuse psychiatry with clinical psychology. However, you must understand the fact that psychiatrists undergo extensive training sessions and comes with suitable medical degree. They offer therapy services.  Remember, mental disorders vary from one person to another. Clinical psychologists co-work with the occupational therapists, psychiatrists and social workers to relieve complicated patient problems. In order to become a clinical psychologist, you need to undergo proper training to treat patietns with different kinds of mental disorders. There would be extreme scenarios to handle but you will receive the necessary training to learn about proper tactics to apply.

According to Justin Urbas, every year, the number of psychological disorder-related patients increase. Their problems may well be humanistic, cognitive, psycho dynamic, or systems specific.  Dealing with these kids would require expert support while ensuring sessions of detailed psychotherapies.

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